Danvers swiveled. "What!?"
----
Reykjavik Bolstrood, despite being named for the struggling capital of Iceland, was Norwegian-American-Norwegian and was to a right-wing patriot what a necrophile was to a romantic poet. His hobbies consisted of finding leaked information on the internet and firing guns, and to the eternal dismay of the U.S. government he was extremely good at both. Reykjavik was not a military man, but he knew enough about the training procedures for every special ops unit on every country on the planet to approximate his own regimen, which lacking any sort of leadership figure was instead entirely driven by sociopathy. For twenty years of his life he had apparently worshiped and sought advice from an eight foot tall stone bust of Uncle Sam, although recently he had announced his switch to Deism "in the spirit of the founders". Conservatives occasionally referred to him as a LODite, as in Liberty Or Death, which Danvers had actually found funny at one point.
While Granite Sam had always been a considerable influence on Reykjavik's life, his transformation from wingnut to Threat to National Security had been the 9/11 attacks. Frustrated by a lack of action against the Taliban, Reykjavik spent eight years slowly building himself into a vicious, angry, destructive and above all informed one-man military operation. When the USFG dropped the ball on yet another lead on the Taliban's location, Bulstrood shipped out on his own, spending every dime he had and a number of the banking systems to airlift himself into hostile territory, where he proceeded to torture, murder and maim his way towards finding Osama's newest mountain cavern so he could "strangle the sonovabitch with his own turban".
It was difficult to tell what irked the U.S. more: that he tried, that he succeeded, or that after the fact he found asylum in his mothers home country of Norway where he proceeded to write three autobiographies that earned him slightly under a billion dollars in capital (most of it frozen by the various nations the books were published in). He was too well-liked, well-connected and well-hidden to get at, which was Ironic with a capital I in Colin Danvers book.
The worst part of it had been this: considering Bulstroods military training, he had felt his capture would be an obvious blow to the United States governments credibility on a national level. In order to not be viewed as a spy or enemy combatant, he instead devised a simple plan to distance himself from the country he loved before he ran roughshod over half of the 'stans. Since Reykjavic basically had only one talent, the plan was very similar to his other plans and consisted of killing a large number of people, several of them renowned talk show hosts and war protestors, one of them Danvers friend. For years Colin had wanted nothing more than to stab the son of a bitch in the face.
And now he was here. And Danvers had lost his knife.
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